i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
