It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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