took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
