Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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