best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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