i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Semen is not good for contacts.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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