Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
