obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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