Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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