the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
