That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
