I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
