Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
