Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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