Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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