Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
