you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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