too bad you live with your parents still
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
