The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
