For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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