Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
