Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
