I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
