We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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