So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
