Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
