i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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