my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
