Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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