that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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