Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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