If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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