small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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