happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My feet surprised me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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