We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
