Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
