And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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