??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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