My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
