Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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