I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
