what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
