Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
