Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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