Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I could make wine with my vomit
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
