I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
