I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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