just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
