no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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