No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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