One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
