nut hugger
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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